*crickets*

Wow, been a while since I've updated here I guess. I'm mostly on twitter and other places these days. Still a fangirl. Still into more Johnny's groups than I can really list. To the previous lists, we can add SixTONES, Snowman, Travis Japan, and starting to get interested in 7Men Samurai. And non-JE we can add 7Order.

There's a reason I decided on this username. XD I'm kinda a music slut. I like just about anything. From Acapella Medieval Chant to J-pop to Classic Rock to 40's Jazz! And everything in between. Like I said, I'm more often on Twitter these days, same username.

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Ugh. I feel like crying today. Twitter won't let me send messages to talk to my friend and I'm exhausted from having trouble sleeping for over a week. At least over a week I've been having trouble falling asleep until 1:30-2am. I just want to go back home and curl up under covers and cry for a while. But I have to work.

Update!

Since I can't remember the last time I updated for public instead of for friends, I figured probably it was time to update...

I'm still alive. I'm still part of the Johnny's fandom. I'm also part of the Kamen Rider fandom. And we can add assorted other random Japanese actors to that list. I'm mostly over on Tumblr or Twitter. But I'm still here too!


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I'M NOT DEAD YET!

Old man slung over the shoulder of younger man crying 'I'm not dead yet' from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Time for an update! I'm really more active on Twitter and Tumblr than here, but figured I should update this. Since October when I updated last, things have been busy. But I'm still here! Still fangirling. Still into Johnnys. And adding boys from Kamen Rider. Because there are a lot of hotties in Kamen Rider. Like for example Suda Masaki and Kiriyama Renn... 

And who's all excited for Yamapi to start up his music activities again!? Definitely me! I've missed you Pi! I may have strayed to fangirl other guys, but I'll come back to you as long as you come back to us!

That's been your update. Bye now! Find me on Twitter or Tumblr with the same username!

Update

Not that I think anyone actually reads this, but I feel bad for not updating. So here's an update.

My life right now has been spent half at work and half at my mother-in-law's bedside as she lies in bed dying of cancer. This isn't unexpected. Although things progressed a lot faster than we expected. 10 years ago she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She had the lump removed, and her lymph nodes on the right side (side with the lump) and then chemotherapy and then radiation. She lost a whole summer because she basically slept through it due to chemo exhaustion. But they thought they got it all. Sadly, the cancer returned, metastasized and moved, not into her lymph system, but into her bones. This past January she went to the doctor because she was having a harder and harder time standing and walking. They discovered the cancer in her bones and already present in her spinal column. It was already stage four. Her doctor was hopeful that with Chemo and Radiation they could give her another year or two. Which her sons and husband would have loved so much. But her body just couldn't handle chemotherapy this time around and the cancer has progressed rapidly. It has traveled the rest of the way up her spine and she has pressure on her brain now. She's been in a Nursing Care Facility since August. And since the beginning of September she has been in Hospice. They're now saying just weeks.

Since the beginning of September I've watched her become increasingly delusional. Her worst childhood traumas have been coming back to haunt her. Sometimes she fears that she has been kidnapped, or is about to be kidnapped. That we're all plotting against her. It is hard to see someone who was so strong become so weak and afraid. This week she's been mostly sleeping. The times she's awake she doesn't seem to recognize much and is delusional enough that she yells for help. The delusion is caused by the pain medication, and the pressure on the brain. Part of me hopes that she'll continue to sleep peacefully. Part of me hopes that the end comes soon for her. It is hard for my husband and his dad to watch her go through this. I guess I can understand a little bit people who believe in assisted suicide.

Anyway, that's been my life lately. On the plus side, I still have fun fangirling on Tumblr, and listening to music.

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